If You Say So....Luke 5:4-7 (NASB)

So, I did it. I wrestled with the decision for about two weeks. I cried over it, mulled it over in my mind, pondered several applicable Scriptures, and, of course, talked to and prayed with several trusted friends about the issue. I even mentioned it to my pastor and he prayed for me. We discussed it at Care Group. Was I trusting God by taking this possible course of action? Was I trusting God to issue His justice, as opposed to me circumventing His plan? Was this act stemming from bitterness I was holding onto? And on and on and on I wrestled.Then, I thought of different ways to accomplish a similar purpose, all to no avail. Several friends, by the grace of God, were very direct and helpful to me. Thank you. You know who you are. Finally, I had to sit down, pen and paper in hand, and just do it. Hours and hours later at my computer, probably a whole ink cartridge and a hundred sheets of paper later, it was done. An eleven page document, a "masterpiece" if you will. I poured...

So, I had a couple of minutes after finishing school this morning and I got to thinking about my trip to the Bonaventure the other day. Sarah and I and 8 kids (I know - I'll never take them all there again!) went to the revolving lounge at the Bonaventure at around 5:30 on Friday afternoon. As we were leaving I was waiting for the hostess to bring me my stroller. All 10 of us are waiting by the hostess podium-thing and we see two young, fresh-faced couples dressed to the nines walking down the stairs toward us. They check in with the hostess and I noticed one of the young men in particular. How could I not? He was tall, young, blondish and handsome. What I really noticed, though, was his bright white dazzling sports coat with matching pants and white dress shirt. The material was beautiful. It was shiny satin white stripes on white cotton material. (I loved textured clothing! Especially white dress shirts that have textures - very classy!). I looked over at his date who was young a...

(Isn't this baby so precious? I love newborns!)I just finished my second week of homeschooling and I haven't given up yet (despite a 4th bout of head lice in 9 months. Ugh...)Is there a medal out there for me? I am just kidding. It's actually gone very well. The girls and I are on a productive cleaning schedule and our morning school schedule yields finished assignments and plenty of instruction and learning, although I'm always needing to tweak it here and there. So far, I'm very pleased with how things are going. My mornings are VERY busy and I'm usually disciplined at not answering the phone, which typically throws me off.(I love to talk! But then, you knew that...) The mid-afternoons tend to vary a bit, but everyone has a quiet time and I'll either run errands or lay down myself for a nap. Ahhh...naps...sleep. What's that?!?! Seriously, though, when I lay down at the end of the night for sleep I feel extremely gratified at the industrious day I...

So, I should be asleep right now. No, Julia did not wake me up. I just woke up after being asleep for a couple of hours and couldn't get back to sleep. My mind and emotions started to turn over and wander. So, here I am. I started homeschooling all the girls this week and am working out the kinks in my schedule. I think it's going really well and I'm enjoying being with all of them. One challenge I'm having is my little gypsy - Daisy - is at it again. Apparently, when she was supposed to be in bed she snuck into her older sisters' room and stole Camille's journal and 3 purses the girls had. The girls were beside themselves when they had discovered it later that night. I had been out visiting with Tim's family earlier this evening, so I didn't catch the crime in process. I told the girls that they needed to TRY to understand that Daisy is 3 and that this is what 3 year olds do. It really is a difficult age and so destructive. Stereos, car DVD's, seatb...

So, where was I before my crazy vacation? Oh yes, my current change of heart. On the last day of school for Chloe, who finished kindergarten, and Leanne, who finished2nd grade, I looked back at the school as the girls got into the car and I said "goodbye." I had felt that I was done with that school, at least for the next year. I had an inexplicable desire to homeschool the girls. Chloe was looking at being retained for kindergarten, which neither Tim nor I was thrilled about. Leanne had had just a so-so year. I realized how difficult it had been to have two in public school while having two being homeschooled and in a co-op at church. I was in two different worlds and I couldn't give myself to either world. I didn't really commit myself to anything and it was depressing to me. When I was pregnant with Julia school was good for Leanne and Chloe because both were helped in ways that I couldn't provide. And when Julia was a newborn I was so distraught and traumatize...

Remember when you returned to school in September with your starchy, new clothes and stiff, shiny shoes on the First Day of School? For me, Marengo Elementary was my grade school in South Pasadena and I still remember the paper-y smell of the classrooms and the humid, hot feeling in the air. My first assignment was always to write a sentence, paragraph, or essay (depending on what grade I was in) about what I did during my summer break. My essay was always filled with much of the same: my adventures in Mammoth Lakes. All summer long we lived in our condo in Mammoth and waterskiied, fished, went horse back riding, inner-tubed down the Owens River (SO FUN!),visited Bodie the ghost town, and hung out at the Rec room, jacuzzi, and pool area with various friends we'd see every summer. It was really an idyllic summer existence. From the time I was 1 year old to the end of my 12th summer we were up there from late June till early September. It has ruined me forever for a normal, hot,...

So, where was I before my hard drive crashed and I lost perhaps hundreds of photos that I hadn't gotten around to backing up yet? Oh, yes, a dramatic change of heart. It was July 14th and I was at my friend Joy's house. I was discussing the two year ordeal I had been going through with Tim about having another baby - my 5th potentially. In short, I didn't want another baby. The adjustment to our 4th baby was rough on our marriage and my 4th baby was DIFFICULT in every possible way. I couldn't imagine a 5th baby. Fear was abounding in my heart. Joy broke through all of that and said,"The Bible does say to submit in this issue." Pause. "Really? You're right." And then Diane jumps in to wholly support Joy's declaration of truth. Tim wasn't asking me to do anything wrong, per se. I could trust God with this decision. It was a baby, after all. Not a move half across the world or some disease he was going to give me. So, 9 months and 2 day...