Monday, April 26, 2010

"The Talk"

     Earlier today one of my daughters and I were at Costco eating churros(not me, though, I'm following my diet very carefully) and drinking a latte mocha freeze (a diet coke for me, however).She mentions that one of her friends has not had "The Talk" yet with her mother. This piques my attention. I respond:

"I haven't had 'The Talk' with you, either."

"Yes you have."

"I have?! When!?"

"Like at the breakfast table when I was seven. And you gave me a book!"

"Really?!" I burst out laughing. "What did I say?"

"Oh you know, just all that stuff" was her curt, wave-of-the-hand response.

     So we proceeded to talk about "all that stuff" somewhat and about my approach to "The Talk." My first thought, though, was what kind of mother am I that I didn't even KNOW that I had "The Talk" with my second-born daughter? Yikes! As I thought more about it I realized that my approach is a  more casual one regarding informing my daughters about physiological changes their bodies will go through during puberty and about sexuality. I've always used correct terms for body parts and was very matter- of- fact about "how babies are made" but have always tried to give as few details as necessary. This all depended on the age of the child, their questions, or how the topic got brought up. I definitely don't give graphic details, and yet I inform them of the basics. Again, my approach is limited, accurate information in a matter-of-fact way. More than anything I've always tried to be relaxed, yet informative and approachable. I want my daughters to know that they can talk to Mom about puberty, body parts, sex, boys, etc. I've always tried to not "freak out" about those topics.
     Tim is quite different, however, and has a hard time with the fact that all of his daughters will be needing bras and menstruating one day. "OH, NO! STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT!" he'll shriek as he's cringing out of the room. I can't help but laugh at how God has a sense of humor. Six daughters...ha ha ha!
     However, after we returned  home from Costco today the topic of dating came up. One daughter said:

"So- and -So can date when she's 16."

I replied, "Well, I don't think dating at 16 is a good thing."

"Why not? I don't think there's anything wrong with it."

Uh-oh. Time to remember not to freak out, get I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris and have another "Talk." These talks really vary throughout the years and seem to be getting more complicated. God help me!


Kit Fisher said...

From someone who began a 3+ year relationship with a Christian boy when she was 17...please tell your daughter that it's not worth it! WASTE OF TIME. And heart. And emotions. And way too much temptation. If I could do life all over again! There is absolutely no sense in spending time with a young man unless you can actually do something with that relationship and ensuing feelings. Otherwise, it's simply foolish entertainment.

19lt70 said...

I wholeheartedly agree! So, I have several books I will be going over with my daughters.And I'm going to pray A LOT!