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I was standing in front of the sink in the tiny, dirty, ugly bathroom reapplying lip gloss when these two older teenage-looking girls walk in. The one girl went into the stall while the other girl stood in the door threshold, quite close to where I was standing (small bathroom) and asked me, "Are you on a date?"
"No," I replied, capping my lip gloss and shaking my head.
Her next statement: "Are you LOOKING for something? Are you SEARCHING for something?" The way this girl said it, bracing herself in the narrow doorway and leaning her upper body toward me, opening her eyes really wide, and speaking in a rather, well, seductive voice made me wonder about two things: 1) she's on drugs, isn't she? and 2) is she, uh, hitting on me?! Say it isn't so! Is she looking for the "Mommy"type? EEEUUUWWWW!!!!! I think perhaps that she was just messing with me. I wanted to reply, "Yeah, I'm looking for something - the toilet - so I can puke!"
My response? Almost without thinking, "I have Jesus and he's all I need." At that she laughed nervously and loudly, obviously uncomfortable. And then I looked right at her and said, "And he loves you." With that I turned and left the bathroom - TOTALLY. FREAKED.OUT.
I mean, we were in West Hollywood, but I never expected to get hit on by some girl young enough to be my daughter. I later thought, Maybe she was making fun of me. That's it. She was mocking me! But I've learned not to "over think" or doubt those initial impressions I have about these kinds of situations. My intuition is usually right on. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been propositioned in my whole life (at least what I can remember. I really don't care about these kinds of things.)This isn't something I'm used to or look for. Really. Besides, I have a really cute husband! We have lots of fun together. Enough said.
What a strange night. I bet her mother didn't tell her not to do drugs before she left home.
But then, I went to the bathroom by myself. A big no-no, apparently even for adults! (At least in WeHo!)
3 comments:
Laura--
This is one of the funniest posts I've read. The way you write is hilarious...I can just hear you saying all this.
I love your response--you're so quick on your feet. I always think of things to say AFTER the fact.
And that last paragraph in the story is so so funny. Really really great writing. You tell a great story.
P.S. So fun to run into you yesterday and chat for a minute. And thanks for not judging me on my poor parenting skills. :)
Ha! Ha! It was so fun running into you, too. Poor parenting skills? You're a great Mom! And you've never lost a child, either! (Yet, that is. It happens to the best of us!)Did you get any good deals at Gymboree?
This is hysterical, Laura. Best thing of the whole night: Laura tells a little lost girl about JESUS!!! If the whole night was for that, thats all that matters.
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