The Post-Race Soul Rubdown

From my September 18 blog post: "As I was waiting just beyond the finish line, I noticed the athletes as they came through. Some looked relieved, some looked elated, but many looked exhausted and spent and needed a few moments to slow themselves down." I sensed as I watched these athletes that this was a picture for me. From my October 18th blog post, "Crossing the Line" I describe how a difficult and painful season has come to an end for me. I have "crossed that line" and like those tired, weary athletes, God had a message already prepared for me: "You will need some time to catch your breath and to heal from this race. It was rigorous and exhausting and your soul needs extra care and time."

Such kindness and tenderness from my Good Shepherd. Since this matter is "done" I am expected by those who know and love me to now, "move on" and "let it go." But my heart is still struggling with all those unanswered questions. God has taken me on a retrospective view of the entire season I've been in since my divorce was final when I ventured into dating too early because I was too vulnerable. God has solidified his counsel to me that the sins I was struggling with were not properly confessed as he had given me an opportunity to do so with a friend visiting from out of state. This friend visited shortly before I dated the now ex-pastor. God was encouraging me to confess sexual sins I was struggling with and I didn't; I merely prayed with her that God would help me walk in purity. God did that, but shortly after that neglected opportunity I met the man would take advantage of and use me. I let him because I had unconfessed sin and "understood" his struggles, instead of confronting him and ending the interaction immediately. I was vulnerable to Satan's schemes and God clearly impressed upon me that he takes sexual sin seriously, especially where another person is being exploited, as I was. I did this to myself, really, and yet, God allowed it for a greater purpose. What a painful lesson to learn.

I have submitted to the discipline God lovingly, wisely gave me. He works through our sins to accomplish his greater purposes. He will be glorified in greater ways than I can even imagine and I will heed his serious admonitions and Scriptural mandates to engage in "not even a hint" of sexual immorality." Gratefully, I am now walking in obedience.

My soul "muscles" from this "race" are sore, though, and they are burning with exhaustion and depletion. 

God is lovingly leading me into the post-race athletes tent where they are rubbed down with special oils, massaged, placed in warm jacuzzis and a cold plunge, fed hydrating drinks and nutritional foods. Ahhh...yes, he beckons me into a season of rest and restoration. 

Below are my pictures from the fancy union convention I went to in San Francisco last week. I stayed an extra day and met Barbara and Clay in Berkeley while checking out Camille and Clay's wedding venue. Then I drove north to Point Reyes and hiked around the area and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was definitely refreshed and restored. Thank you, kind and rich Heavenly Father. I greatly enter into this restorative, healing season.