Friday, July 24, 2009
Dramatic Change of Heart
There have been a few times in my life when I have had a dramatic change of heart, or made a dramatic decision spontaneously. We'll start with the dramatic decision spontaneously made.
Tim and I were together on a Saturday morning when we were dating and were intending on going to a Singles Meeting at church a little later on. All of the sudden Tim blurts out, "Let's get married today!" We had been dating for seven weeks (yes weeks, not months or even years). I look at him and say, "What?!" We had broached the topic several weeks earlier, but hadn't discussed it much since then. In fact, we had even "broken up" for several hours (yes, hours, not days, weeks or even months. Everything happened in warp speed time for us.)
Well, he begged me to marry him. He told me some stories from the Bible to justify the crazy decision. We went to my Dad's house later that morning and Tim formally asked him for my hand in marriage. My Dad replied, "Why don't you just live together first?" To which we replied, "Well, Dad, we don't believe in that." So, my teary-eyed Dad gave us his blessing (and some money!) and sent us off with my older sister and her boyfriend at the time. That was almost 17 years ago. The rest, they say, is history.
In retrospect, I would have done things differently. I believe the outcome would have been similar, but the timing and the process would have been quite different. But, I was 22 and immature and I hadn't learned how to make such big decisions with confidence that God always has my best interests in mind. I'm still learning that lesson. Anyway, I feel sorry for Tim. He had no idea what he was getting in to. I was a nightmare of a wife in those earlier years of our marriage. According to Tim, I've been much better the last 8 years - much to his relief! No one would ever accuse me of not trying hard, however. I am one of the most persistent people I know. And I love God who has changed my life. He's given me a new heart and a new mind. As I've clung to the commands of Scripture as well as the promises He's given me, he has changed me. Pleasing him and loving him is more important to me than anything else in my life. But often times my words and attitudes don't always reflect that commitment. I'm glad he's the one who's started this work in me and that he will be faithful to complete it.
Anyway, many years and 4 kids later, I had a dramatic change of heart. I remember the day I was sitting in my friend Joy's living room with our friend Diane and it was a hot summer July day. Her words pierced my heart. What a powerful moment that was that would forever alter the course of my life...
Well, the mother board on my computer is busted, so I'm at the library blogging on my little blog. I have to go because I've got kids at home, plans this afternoon, and the grocery store to go to. Plus, a tropical iced tea sounds really good right now....I'll finish this post later.