Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Held Captive in the Dentist's Chair

     Been to see your dentist lately?  Ever thought about the fact that we're held captive as we're reclining in that fabulous vinyl, hydraulically -operated chair with the little plastic-lined drool pad attached to us with little clips around our neck? Let's not forget the bright light shining in our face as the dentist skillfully utilizes each and every little sharp-pointed, stainless steel tool (does she have to use ALL of them?!) and of course, the water drill. Bzzzzz! Bzzzz! Are you feeling the water spraying sensations and loud drill sounds in your ear right now? Sorry, don't mean to bring back bad memories. Anyway, yesterday's appointment was a little more "captivating" than usual.
     My dentist, thankfully, is very sweet. She relishes talking about recipes and food.  I'm quite grateful, too, because she will frequently offer yogurt or lychee fruit to my kids if she hears them say, "I'm hungry!" And, of course, they're ALWAYS hungry at the dentist's office (Pavlov, anyone?). Additionally, I got my favorite and frequently requested b-b-q pork recipe from her. Anyway, needless to say, I always leave there hungry.
     She also has six kids and fourteen grandchildren. In fact, there's a playroom in her office with toys her kids played with (think "vintage toys") and a small tv that plays videos. It's great for me and my kids when we're all getting our teeth cleaned. We go religiously every 6 months and I usually break it up between two visits because, as you'll see, it's better not to bring my littler ones if I can avoid it. Because she is the only one that cleans our teeth (her dental hygienist - the lovely Viola - only takes x-rays and flosses our teeth at the end), and she takes her time (she's very thorough! Ouch!), the wait to see her can be quite long. In fact, when Tim has his appointment he frequently falls asleep in the chair. His snoring can be heard throughout the whole office! Anyway, the playroom has served us quite well throughout the years.
     So, it was my turn to have my teeth cleaned and Daisy, Chloe, and Elena were with me. All of them had already had their dental needs taken care of. So, I'm sitting in the chair and Daisy walks in and says that she wants to watch. Uhh...ok..."Don't touch anything!" She settles herself into a stool that is quite a bit higher than my reclining chair and looks down into my mouth. "What's all that stuff in yo' mouf?! Is the denist cleaning yo teef? I can see all yo teef! What are all dees buttons fo?" Bla, blah, blah.As she's asking all these questions, her little face is close to mine and spit from her mouth is falling onto my bottom lip and into my mouth. Eww...gross! All I can say is: "Ugh-Day-ee-do tu duh bu!" The dentist nicely says, "Oh, Daisy, don't touch the buttons." And then Dr. W  takes the tools out of my mouth and I tell Daisy quite firmly, "Get Elena for me!"
     As the dentist goes back to work ever so determined to rid my mouth of plaque, Chloe comes in and sits on the stool previously occupied by Daisy. Dr. W is called out of the room and Chloe says to me, "What's this button?" She proceeds to press it and my chair immediately moves to an upright sitting position. Shazam! "Uh, that's what it's for, Chloe. Where is Elena?!" Elena walks in. "Please take them for a walk around the block, or something, anything!" Apparently, they had tired of the playroom and there were no intriguing videos that they hadn't already watched before. Elena responds, "They never listen to me!" Ugh...I plead with her to try again and I can't remember whether I threatened or bribed Daisy and Chloe. Dr W came back to persist in her torture, I mean, finished cleaning my teeth and I was blessedly on my way.

     I had planned on being the first one to have my teeth cleaned so that the toy room would hold their interest till I was done. It didn't work out that way...this time, that is. Next time, things will be different!