Friends

I feel obligated to write something on my blog because it's been two weeks since I've posted anything. But I really don't have anything to say. I helped Mike and Tina over the weekend by cleaning their bathrooms and hardwood floors. I'm not tooting my own horn, just following up on my last post. Mike is getting weaker and isn't too responsive when I come over. He does say "hi" and I think that's significant. They're always in the back of my mind and in my prayers, of course.
I've been home a week from Spokane after visiting friends. One of my dearest friends, Tiffany, took me all around Spokane, we ate at fun and beautiful places, went to the movies, went shopping, went to church and had a great time just hanging out at her home. Her youngest son, Caleb, was so funny. He was fascinated with the fact that I breastfed Julia. He wanted to see it and understand it. So, I showed him. I wasn't at all self-conscious and neither was he. It was funny. He was so cute. I also spent the night at my friend Joy's house, too. She's a dear friend and we had a great time talking. I miss my friends who used to live in the Pasadena area. These are friends that I've known for at least 11 years. They've seen me through various pregnancies, home purchases and moves, weight fluctuations, and various seasons of life. They know me well and they still love me! They've given me great advice, a shoulder to cry on and stress out on, and encouragement, love and care like few people ever have, other than my wonderful family. So, I'll say it again: I miss them but am so grateful I've got such good friends. In fact, as I think about it, I have a lot of good friends. I consider myself incredibly blessed. Growing up I only had one friend and she was a little different. I was pretty lonely during my school years and I got teased a lot for being "different," too. I still am "different" and I don't really care. I yam who I yam.
So, my husband and children get to put up with me now. We do laugh a lot, so I guess my influence isn't too intolerable. Well, that's it. That's the end of my post. Till I have another adventure or deep moment to write about, I'm signing off.

Mike and Tina's Sad News

So, I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with this post. I just came back from dropping a meal off at my friends Mike and Tina's house. Mike is dying. There - I just wrote it. No frills, no sentiment - it's just out there in black and white. He's 38. His wife, my friend Tina from grade school, hopes he makes it to his 39th birthday in June so we can celebrate it. As I arrived Tina had just found out the news from the doctor that the next round of chemo they were going to do will not be effective and it will make him really sick. The cancer has gotten into this brain stem. There's nothing more they can do. Just make him comfortable.
Mike was the first (and last) blind date I ever had. We went to a backwards dance when we were juniors in high school. I remember the dress I wore and the picture of us and our friends of that night is at my Dad's house. I think he thought I was a dingbat. I was. He was the most sarcastic person I had ever met. If your mother had left you, your Dad, and 6 brothers and sisters after one sister got killed in a car accident and another brother committed suicide, wouldn't you be sarcastic, too?
I remember the night 10 years ago or so of his surgery to remove the orange-sized tumor they had found in his brain. It was at UCLA Medical Center and I was there all night long with the rest of his family. The surgery had gone ok, but he was left with limited mobility on his left side and very slurred speech. He was permanently disabled and would never work again. So, on he goes taking it day by day until he breathes his last. I will be over regularly with meals, do some housecleaning, pick up their 17 year old from school and bring him home, and try to cheer my friend Tina up. I feel very sober right now. I'm not sad, but just very somber. I will be as supportive and loving and appropriately upbeat as I can be. What else can I offer, but my prayers?
I'll keep you posted.

Modest Mary

I was at my doctor's office yesterday and had to get some money to pay the parking fee (I couldn't scrounge even a $1 in change! There are drawbacks to cleaning out my purse...) So, I walked over to Carl's Jr to get something to eat and get money from my ATM transaction. I walk a block down to CJ's and as I approach the register I see a sign that says "No ATM/Cash Only." Phooey! So, I go walking down the street 2 blocks away towards Washington Mutual to use their ATM. As I'm about 1/2 block away I see a liquor store and figure they have an ATM machine. Now, just to set the record straight: I don't frequent liquor stores often. At all. I walk up to the cashier and ask him if I could get cash back from my gum purchase. He said "yes" so I'm waiting for him to finish with his current customer. I notice behind him all the different sizes, colors, and shapes of alcohol held behind a metal rod (in case of an earthquake I assume). I didn't know there were so many varieties! Wow! And so colorful! Anyway, I'm still waiting and my eyes are drawn up to the wall above the counter and I see the cashier in several different pictures with all these Playboy Bunny-type women with purple velvet skimpy outfits. He's surrounded by all these young and voluptuous women in these various photographs. I take a closer look at him in person and in the picture and decide that he's a pretty good-looking man in his late 20's who seems to have quite a way with the ladies. And he wants everyone to know it. Then I look down at the register itself and I see a religious postcard of what appears to be Mary with a glowing heart. He's not in this picture with her, however. I almost said to him" You seem to like hanging out with pretty ladies. How about her? (I would point to the Virgin Mary-looking lady.) Do you like hanging out with her, too?" As I was pondering this possible question, he took my ATM card and I proceeded with the transaction. I came so close to asking the question, thinking it might be funny. However, the moment came and went. I was still rather soberminded from my doctor's visit. I feel like I missed an opportunity to make the guy think about the ladies in his life, his publicly posted photographs, and what they say about him.

But, really, I didn't care that much. I just thought it was kind of ironic with the pictures being of such different kinds of women. So, I left. I do hope that he does have an inclination toward the Mary Mother of Jesus- types someday. She may not show her "goods," but boy was she highly esteemed by God. If I were a man I'd kind of go for a woman who was chosen by God himself to bear the son of God. That doesn't sound very sexy or hot, but I'm sure Joseph saw her in a whole new way after she birthed Jesus. (See my earlier post The Most Amazing Birth). Who says lots of skin and particular body parts showing is sexy anyway? How many perfect-looking covergirls and celebrities do you see on the supermarket shelf that are divorced, their boyfriends have cheated on them, or they just broke up with their current love interest? That doesn't sound sexy to me at all.

In fact, one night Tim and I were watching some cute teeny bop movie. They show the couple in a car late at night (uh-oh - you know where this might be going) and he puts this temporary tattoo on her bare shoulder. As he's taking off the paper, he blows on her shoulder to dry the ink and she looks at him. No touching, no kissing, nothing like that. I look over at Tim and say: "That's steamy!" He agrees wholeheartedly and we both smile at one another. (After all, we didn't have six kids accidentally. We eventually figured out how I kept getting pregnant.)

I think that modesty and a little mystery can be quite tantalizing. That's my take on things. It can also be very appropriate and considerate of others who really shouldn't be seeing another woman's body or skin. My girls know I'm very particular about what I will let them wear. They're pretty good about choosing modest clothing. I would never want them to be in one of liquor store boy's photos, unless their heart was glowing....