If You Say So....Luke 5:4-7 (NASB)

  The Heavy Weight of "Immediate Jeopardy"             It's been so long since I have posted on my blog. I have journaled on other platforms, like ChatGPT, Gemini, and my Emotions app. My blog, however, is my artistic therapy and creative writing outlet, my space to bring visual and written palpability to my emotions, experiences, reality, my burdens and my delights.        It's been a challenging past few months. Advocacy work with Pasadena City College has been grueling, looong, wearisome and utterly discouraging at most points. There is some hope on the horizon, but more time and effort needs to be applied, sort of like strategically placing your fingernails around a large, juicy whitehead and squeezing just so...till it bursts! White pus squirts out and then more pressure is applied, but a little more gently, moving your fingers around just so...to get every last bit of pus OUT.  Why is popping zits sooo satisfying? There's...

This Beautiful Princess Daisy at Hofburg Palace in Vienna at the SugarBaker Ball January 2026     Another picture at the palace - she is so splendid!   January started with a positive vibe. I worked on New Year's Day and despite terrible staffing at work  and a confrontational and uncomfortable Union quarterly leadership meeting in mid-December, work has had "moments of glory." Sitting with patients as they are unburdening their souls and their hearts, sitting with them in that painful processing of difficult emotions and painful realities of their mental illness burden and all that means for them. Holding space and letting them have a safe "landing pad" - a listening ear and comforting spirit has been marvelous to behold. I am able to provide words of wisdom and encouragement and kindness. I feel that there are moments when I am talking with and listening to patients where I feel the presence of God lighting down to touch their troubled hearts and bring comfort...

2025: The Year of the Tear Down  ChatGPT generated this picture with some edits from me. On the left hand side, slightly lower, is a dilapidated, simply village which represents real life; the hard and ugly parts, the mundane and the broken down. In this picture you see my glasses on top of a Bible-my guidebook and inspiration. I am weak and broken, too, hence the need for glasses. Then there's the vintage sewing machine and the pins and spools of thread; the building blocks of my work. The pins hold things together and the spools are different colors for different area which express various parts of my advocacy work. There's the candle, because modern, bright lighting is not a reality - I only see dimly into the whole picture. There's the cross against the wall - simple, plain, unadorned but the focal point of my vision - it stands between the now - the dilapidated village, and the not yet - the beautiful city on a hill - what I am longing for. The scales of justice are ne...

From my September 18 blog post: "As I was waiting just beyond the finish line, I noticed the athletes as they came through. Some looked relieved, some looked elated, but many looked exhausted and spent and needed a few moments to slow themselves down." I sensed as I watched these athletes that this was a picture for me. From my October 18th blog post, "Crossing the Line" I describe how a difficult and painful season has come to an end for me. I have "crossed that line" and like those tired, weary athletes, God had a message already prepared for me: "You will need some time to catch your breath and to heal from this race. It was rigorous and exhausting and your soul needs extra care and time." Such kindness and tenderness from my Good Shepherd. Since this matter is "done" I am expected by those who know and love me to now, "move on" and "let it go." But my heart is still struggling with all those unanswered questions....

  THIS is the heart of God It was an inexplicable response - one that revealed the heart of the matter, God's heart. After the initial shock, my thoughts went to his pastor. His pastor who cared for him, prayed for him, eagerly awaited his return home from a long deployment, sent a care package overseas and must have been overjoyed upon his return. Just 5 days ago he was praying at the end of the church service-sounding very spiritual and righteous. Did his pastor know that, within less than one week, he would turn his ministerial credentials into the district superintendent, effectively ending his pastoral ministry? Ending his service at the church, signaling that he would not fight the lurid and detailed allegations leveled against him of sexual sin, emotional cruelty, immaturity and deception? I was in a church room, all by myself, waiting for a reception for my father-in-law, and I was stunned as I read the email. I actually had some difficulty breathing, I was so shocked. I ha...

Here are pictures of my daughter Chloe at her triathlon this last weekend. My younger daughter and I got there early, found Chloe and took these fun pictures. Then we waited near the finish line….and waited….and waited….and waited some more. They were taking down the signs when Chloe finally crossed that finish line. I couldn’t have been more proud. Me and my triathlete Chloe doesn’t do anything halfway. Once she puts her mind to something she is ALL IN. With her recent move down to Long Beach for school and adjusting to her new living situation, she didn't have a lot of time to train for her race. This was only her second triathlon. She had fun and I’m proud of her for finishing. As I was waiting just beyond the finish line, I noticed the athletes as they came through. Some looked relieved, some looked elated, but many looked exhausted and spent and needed a few moments to slow themselves down. It was interesting noting the different responses. I saw the cheerleading sections of d...