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The Finish Line

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Here are pictures of my daughter Chloe at her triathlon this last weekend. My younger daughter and I got there early, found Chloe and took these fun pictures. Then we waited near the finish line….and waited….and waited….and waited some more. They were taking down the signs when Chloe finally crossed that finish line. I couldn’t have been more proud. Me and my triathlete Chloe doesn’t do anything halfway. Once she puts her mind to something she is ALL IN. With her recent move down to Long Beach for school and adjusting to her new living situation, she didn't have a lot of time to train for her race. This was only her second triathlon. She had fun and I’m proud of her for finishing. As I was waiting just beyond the finish line, I noticed the athletes as they came through. Some looked relieved, some looked elated, but many looked exhausted and spent and needed a few moments to slow themselves down. It was interesting noting the different responses. I saw the cheerleading sections of d...
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Following Policy

"We're going to follow the policies from the Church manual with this situation." Those were the words I had been waiting to hear for almost 8 months now. In fact, when I spoke with my pastor at the church I was attending, that was my question to him: how does the church handle these kinds of things? He didn't have an answer for me - but he should have. It's written in the policy manual for the church. Those policies are detailed and specific. They are quite stringent and they are fair . That is, they are based on biblical guidelines which are the wisdom and provision of God for grace and protection in ALL matters. She herself was rather cold and matter-of-fact, which is perfect for how she needs to be to approach this issue. She asked about the long time which had passed - more than two years - and I felt ashamed and discouraged at what felt like a criticism and an unspoken question: "Why did you wait so long to report it?" She didn't say...
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"I'm a S***head and other Tales of Summer Adventures"

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My happiest summer picture in a field with cows nearby sitting in natural hot springs        So, my French exchange student left today. She had been here for 5 weeks and I struggled to relate to her. She was guarded and aloof and hardly ever said thank you. I complained about her a lot and it drove my daughters nuts. Towards the end of her stay, she overheard my comments. When I walked her to the customs gate at the airport, she seemed almost tearful, and I wasn't sure why. When I was driving home with my daughter Julia, she told me that Louise had overheard my negative comments about her and that she was really hurt. Ohh...snap! I talked to two daughters about my shitty attitude later and my mistake in even having an exchange student. My expectations were not met and it was so hard having a girl who almost never said thank you and didn't emote in many ways at all. She had a closed off energy about her and it was just...hard. I wish I had known earlier in the day bec...
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Thunderbolt of Courage

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      “You have it all” she said. I reflected on the context in which that statement was made from my therapist. I had described the agonizing decision I had made to send an email which I likened to, “Throwing a grenade into three church offices.” The email detailed descriptions of sexual sin and cruel, unkind behavior on the part of an ordained minister towards me. His refusal to acknowledge the sin we both committed and the immature, selfish way he avoided repentance and biblical reconciliation – several years after the fact – was detailed in that email. I tried so hard to “let it go and move on” but with the lack of any response from pastoral leadership – who should know better - I felt that the next step was to document everything in writing. Hence, the detailed email, complete with biblical references applied to the different actions described in the email.   I ran it through ChatGPT multiple times with various configurations and prompts added. I then re...
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Swooning Over Swans

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      My first fascination with swans was watching the movie "The Notebook." Yes, that famous, tear-inducing movie which artfully and powerfully evoked so much emotion over its dynamic and visceral display of an enduring, passionate and elegant love story. The scene where the two young lovers are in the row boat on the lake filled with swans had the most beautiful music playing in the background. I actually bought the soundtrack and would remember how beautiful that love story was and how I cried with a longing and a renewed tenderness and appreciation for Tim.       That was so long ago. And yet, I still find swans beautiful. In fact, many years later I was visiting Camille in Idaho in February of 2022. We were taking a hike through a snowy wooded area and I noticed swans swimming in a river nearby. I walked closer to the river's snowed-in shore, pulling myself out of sinkholes in the snow, to get a closer look. There they were;  swans in the dar...
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Bucket List Item: Go to a Fancy Ball with a Handsome Man ✓

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     Well, I didn't actually have a date with a handsome man, but I really enjoyed talking with a very handsome man and we danced one dance, too. It was really lovely having nice conversation with him and enjoying his handsomeness. I wasn't a very good dancer, and rather self-conscious about it - and very tired from a brutal week. But, I had fun and it was beautiful on Catalina Island. The venue was historic and majestic in every way. So many people at the ball were dressed in their Roaring 20's gowns and 3-piece suits. It was absolutely marvelous to behold!      Daisy and I had a great time. It was very expensive and I don't think I'll do it again, but I'm so glad it was on my list and that I got to check it off.      Next up - the rodeo in Salinas this summer!  
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My Day "Off"

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 It has been a very busy season. I have had long weeks where I taught and worked my regular job at least 5 days a week. Most locations included long drives which cut into my sleep and free time. Birthday season has been upon us, as well,  with 3 birthdays in 3 weeks. I have made it to most celebrations, but not all. One weekend was Leanne's birthday weekend where she had an out-of-town friend over and they had a party on Sunday evening. By Monday, my only day off that week, the house was a disaster with post-weekend hosting and parties. So, on that precious day off this is what I did: -took the cat to the vet for a follow up appointment then dropped the cat off at home -went to Joann's for clearance quilting fabric and then Costco for groceries -did 5 loads of laundry -cleaned out the refrigerator -cleaned the kitchen -finished Seda's quilt                                       ...
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